I am very thankful to God for the gift of forgiveness that I never thought possible after committing what I thought to be the unforgivable sin. Many times over.
As an ob/gyn resident I took a job moonlighting at a local abortion center doing pregnancy terminations. I had been raised in a Christian home and was told by others that this wrong but my feminist sensibilities were so strong that providing safe procedures for women that wanted them trumped any thought I now have, I walked past picketers each weekend who thought I was a patient and tried to counsel me not to kill my baby!
After the abortions, I would examine the tissue and see fully formed arms, legs, rib cages, and skulls without seeing the baby that might have been. I told myself it was not my decision to terminate, but the moms’. I was just keeping her safe.
That is until I was pregnant myself and met my daughter on an ultrasound at 7 weeks. I call it my Damascus Road experience because I realized in that moment that the only thing that made my baby any different than the hundred I had killed was that I wanted “her”. To my horror I had to finally admit that abortion stops a beating heart.
I was so ashamed that I kept the conviction to myself and stayed in my “new life closet” until someone who knew my story asked me to tell my story at a fundraiser for a Crisis Pregnancy Center. It was only the grace of God that got me through it. The love and acceptance from the people in that room made me feel as if God was showing me that I was forgiven, something I thought impossible, through them.
I emerged from my pro-life closet a forgiven woman eager to tell the truth that I knew all too well. Over the years, sharing that testimony has saved countless lives. To God be the Glory!!!
YF Moore