United States of America
August 2020; in the middle of a global pandemic, my two younger boys, my husband and I decided to temporarily move to a different area. We all arrived masked up and unaware of what lay ahead. One month and a few days into our arrival, my husband of 19/20 years at the time went back to our home country to work. Little did I know, he would be spending most days, weeks and even months there.
I found myself in this country, another culture, homeschooling, or at least attempting to for the first time in my life. Cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry were all foreign to me, as back home, my housekeeper would cheerfully perform all of these daily, routine tasks. It was her job to do so, and she did with a grateful heart.
Now set in an environment of Resort Living, I found myself alone and uneasy. Drinking would sometimes allow me to enjoy vacuuming and doing laundry. Well, to be honest, not even drinking allowed me to like doing laundry. But the other stuff, cleaning a bathroom or cooking. Slowly the drinking progressed, and nightcaps helped me fall asleep after a long day of taking the boys to school, picking them up, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner as well as packing their lunches.
Fast forward years later, and we are still here. For this new season, it is just my little one and I. My 16-year-old, I knew, would thrive alongside his father and older brother. back in our homeland. Even during my drinking days, I always sought the Lord and a true connection with him. I really did. It was my heart mostly. As my relationship with my husband drifted and became physically, emotionally, and intimately distanced in the past 2 ½ years, I learned to feel seen, valued, desired, and thought of, specifically by a male figure. I am sure this has a lot to do with my biological father-wound. Growing up with an emotionally unavailable father, who was verbally abusive, alcoholic, and drug dependent, I longed to feel accepted for who I actually was and seen. The reason for which I was probably the lead female role of all my high school plays. My father had no choice but to go and SEE his daughter.
Anyways…back to my unmet needs. Today, as I sit here writing, the Lord has removed the obsession to numb my feelings using alcohol. He has sent me a mentor, His dear child and my angel here on earth. I didn’t even know I would need her, or that I would even be here. The battle, this spiritual battle for my soul and my purpose in the Lord, has been so fierce. I mean so fierce that it brings tears to my eyes as I write. But my Lord, my heavenly Father has been so gentle, so patient, so forgiving, so compassionate, so detailed, so present! He has literally sent angels my way, spiritual warriors, Jesus-loving women into my life to see me through. I am eternally grateful.
Shirlz
South Africa
have seen a lifetime of God making what seems impossible, possible in my life.
Taking complexities in our 52-year marriage to a love that has lasted and stood the test of time.
The greatest of all God’s miracles and working in our lives, is the healing of our first-born son, Mark, from a debilitating illness.
In September 2022 he began to experience a slight blur to his right eye, coupled with excruciating pain. After rounds of CT and brain scans, hospitalization and multiple visits to a doctrine of doctors, none could give a conclusive or satisfactory explanation for his intense suffering. By December he was completely blind in the right eye, coupled with excruciating pain.
January 2, he collapsed at home from pain this time to his abdomen. He was readmitted. More tests and scans revealed a large mass on his liver. After three biopsies which revealed no cancer cells, it was presumed his prior melanoma diagnoses had returned, and he was referred to oncology. He would require 6 rounds of immunotherapy but there were no guarantees. So began endless rounds of hospital visitations and fewer answers.
My journal entry for 13 January, read: ” Last night was a disaster. My poor boy’s suffering is off the chart. I need 90,000 South African Rand this morning for his first treatment. All I have is Jesus. He is all I need.”
The struggle for his soul was a bitter one. By evening his body was wracked with pain. The maximum medication had been administered without relief. Unable to sit or lie down his emaciated body hung between the support of his brother and father … As he hung there I thought of Jesus … an image etched in my mind forever. I thought of how Jesus hung on the cross in excruciating pain for my boy … his only hope. I’d only just read: “I and the Father are One and We have come to bring salvation to this soul. He was bought at a high price, the precious blood of Christ. Stand back Satan, this soul is mine.” Hope welled up in my heart knowing the Father and the Son had come to draw my boy to salvation. Jesus draws a line in the sand that Satan may not cross, because of what Christ did on the cross – with power and authority He could claim my boy back and bring him to salvation … and He did!!!
By evening the money was paid and the precious life-giving treatment was on its way. As the sun was setting on the Sabbath, Marks best friend and a pastor friend arrived at the hospital to anoint him. Since then we’ve watched with amazement and gratitude the miracle of God’s saving grace and answer to a mothers prayer unfold, as Mark gains strength and grows in Grace. There’s nothing too hard for God. All power in heaven and earth has been given Him … united with His Father they do battle for the souls of men and woman. All we need to do is reach out in faith and touch Him.
On the 15th April he recommitted his life to God in baptism.
There’s so much more…God is enough ❤️
Olivia Maritz
