United States of America
Never, ever, ever give up on the promises that God has for you!
I had made a decision to follow Christ in college at Duke University after being raised in mostly the Catholic, and later Methodist churches as a child. I was also exposed to pornography at the age of 12 or 13, thus beginning my long journey of addiction. Further wounding came at the age of 17 when I was molested by a male college student while attending a magnet high school on a college university campus in Louisiana. Yet the Lord saw me and blessed me by introducing a beautiful young girl with a heart for His into my life. We met when I was 17 and she was 14. After dating for 5 years, she became not only my wife, but eventually my soul mate, my life partner, and my best friend. Our 31 years of marriage have been tested with many trials— early arguments over money and me being controlling, cold and insensitive. The stresses of having to provide for my wife and first child, who was conceived out of wedlock, while studying endlessly in medical school, manifested itself through relief and escape in my pornography addiction. With each child or each new stressor, my addiction grew deeper. But my relationship with God was also growing. He never turned His back on me, even in the middle of my sin. He allowed my sin to be exposed several times throughout our marriage, and each time He has drawn me closer and closer to Jesus as I surrendered my heart piece by piece to Him.
It wasn’t until August 2023 that I realized I had not completely surrendered my entire heart to Jesus. I was holding back a false sense of control and self-sufficiency. Financial freedom had become an idol to me, so the Lord exposed me once again, this time in a spontaneous act of adultery, which was orchestrated by the enemy to stroke my ego and turn me away from God. Through this extremely painful and shameful trial, as I lay naked and bare before Him, I finally surrendered EVERYTHING to Him—all false sense of control, my money, my marriage, my kids, my house… and more. What transpired was nothing short of a miracle, as He transformed me through His mercy and overwhelming, infinite love. He began comforting me with songs of worship and scripture and imagery. Then, within a few days of my complete surrender, He filled me with the Holy Spirit and a Divine Encounter that I will never, ever forget. I saw the throne room and witnessed the circle dance of the Holy Trinity-Abba Father, Yeshua, and Holy Spirit-all together in the most beautiful setting and light imaginable. For nearly an hour during that encounter, as I wept uncontrollably, I felt the most sublime peace, love, and joy one could ever experience. As tears rolled down my face and the vibrational energy of the Holy Spirit surged through my fingers, my arms, and into my body. I didn’t want it to end! I just wanted to stay there, remain, abide. Just as He calls us to abide in Him—He is the vine, and we are the branches; none can bear fruit without Him. I’ve always known that verse, but now I have a much deeper understanding of it.
Now, filled with the Holy Spirit, as I walk face to face with Jesus day by day, hour by hour, I see that He has much more in store for me than I could ever have planned or imagined.
My wife has chosen to forgive me, and God is restoring our marriage in preparation for our journey with Him to further His Kingdom. The Lord is faithful and committed to honoring His promises to those He calls His children, and my story is overwhelming proof of that.
United States of America
It was in the spacious confines of the Target family bathroom, alone, where my world was knocked off its axis. It was 2011, and I found out that sunny morning in early April that I was pregnant with my fourth child…nine years after my husband’s vasectomy.
I had just received the beautifully printed invitations for our eldest daughter’s high school graduation; our second daughter was 15 and in the throes of adolescence, and our youngest was 10 years old. My husband and I had only recently begun going out on dates again.
After three stick tests and a blood test, a very long walk around the block with my husband, we were forced to accept it-we were going back to the starting line of parenting. We would be parenting for a total of 36 years.
I was reminded of the old Yiddish adage, “Man plans, and God laughs.”
After our baby came, Skye Lynn, the adjustment was very difficult. I endured a horrible postpartum depression and left behind my music career for a season. I began writing in the late hours of the night when I couldn’t sleep, which led to a blog and then a book of family stories, “The Secret Life of a Doctor’s Wife.”
Over time, I recovered, and Skye became the joy of our home; our older kids gave her a thousand nicknames, songs were written for and about her, and we all continue to delight in her as she has become a talented visual artist and animal enthusiast.
How do we handle the unexpecteds that come to us in life? We may struggle during the adjustment, but in the end, we trust that God knows what is best for us.
Rebekah McLeod, author, musician, storyteller
United States of America
October 31, 2019, I tripped and fell and broke my wrist at work. After having immersed myself in worship to the song, “The Goodness of God” that morning, my accident woke me up to how good God had/has been to me over the course of my life. But most especially, to how GOOD HE HAD BEEN in the 10 years before my accident. You see, summer of 2009, I left my husband, my four children, and my home. It was a marriage of about 35 years – a VERY difficult marriage, an emotionally exhausting marriage. Never able to live up to his expectations. However, it wasn’t just leaving him. It was leaving my four children behind, abandoning them. What nearly killed me for it was my children, who kept me going, and then, without them, I felt, “what was the use in living?”
Mother’s Day 2011 my sister came and rescued me from going back and brought me back home, where I grew up. Again, after a year and a half, I left and abandoned my children, yet once again. But God had not abandoned me. He brought me back and placed me in a job that I never in my life imagined I would have. He placed me at Gulfstream as an upholstery tech, where He knew that I could not easily escape back to Jacksonville. This was a job where the Lord could take care of me and have coworkers who would support me, and the healing process began. Eventually, He brought me to Compassion Christian Church, where I was accepted and loved right where I was. Over the next few years, I was able to travel back and forth to Jacksonville to restore relationships with my children.
Only God can mend what we break.
A.S.
Germany, United States of America
After 14 years of marriage, I found myself in a foreign country with a 13-year-old son. I was in a challenging mental state, and I was all alone, no family, not many friends or associates to talk to. All my sadness, thoughts, and concerns were bottled up and festered.
I started to bury myself in my jobs, neglecting “self-care” and needs of my teenage son. My family in Germany was not supportive of me marrying a black man, and for the most part, cut off all communication with me. I felt ALL ALONE in a loveless world. I had to take a look at myself and my relationship with God.
I started with simple conversational exercises, just to be able to lift all the pressure that built up inside, then went to prayers for the ones around me and started to forgive people for the things done to me, which lifted a lot of weight off me. Through spiritual guidance, I achieved inner peace and was able to concentrate on self-care and ensuring my son is taken care of. Those were the two most challenging years of my life that in the end, helped me grow to be the woman I am today.
Alexandra
